why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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