and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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