yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
