Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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