After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
