Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
