but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize