You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
