yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize