So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
