my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
