he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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