dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize