I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
