this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
