her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
