My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
