I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize