Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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