Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
