oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
