So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
