I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize