One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
