Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
