then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
