Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
