All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
