soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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