so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
