its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
