OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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