woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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