So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
