Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
