What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
