Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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