Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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