We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I heard we made out
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
