Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
...so i touched it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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