Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
