he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
