I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
