People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize