You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize