And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Liz is crying about burritos again.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize