i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
