if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
