Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
