U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
