I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
