ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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