Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
