I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
