Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
