Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
