508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
