Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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