puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
