Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Can Purell be used as lube?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
