how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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