I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
