i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
