I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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