her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
